I cant help but cringe at the thought of goin back to college tomorrow.
I want for just one week to get away from it all, college, work and my parents.
As much as I love my folks they now exactly what buttons to push, the turn up my blood pressure.
Either way, today when my hormones were not having their wicked way with my being I decided whatever the weather, I am just going to have to face every blow life gives me and smile despite my bruises and painful as they maybe.
Its all pretty simple, live life, love life.
No matter the circumstance.
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Never Help Society
What is wrong with society today. With a broken down infrastructure caused by political instability of the dual parliament there will be nothing but grief and headache.
The migraine I left the hospital with today was absolutely immense.
About a month ago I visited my GP, on arrival I found they were turning away patients like it was a tennis court. I was advised by somebody else to visit the walk in centre in the same building run by a different surgery. I was seen there and I believed I had the cure in my hands. After using the recommended product for about a month the problem worsened! I took a trip to a+e n to my disappointment after a 3 hr wait was reffered back to my GP. Complete piss take I'm now goin to a private service that will give me what I am paying for.
The migraine I left the hospital with today was absolutely immense.
About a month ago I visited my GP, on arrival I found they were turning away patients like it was a tennis court. I was advised by somebody else to visit the walk in centre in the same building run by a different surgery. I was seen there and I believed I had the cure in my hands. After using the recommended product for about a month the problem worsened! I took a trip to a+e n to my disappointment after a 3 hr wait was reffered back to my GP. Complete piss take I'm now goin to a private service that will give me what I am paying for.
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
Internal Tears
... I have never hurt so much inwardly as today ...
And for once not for a selfish reason, today was the burial of my late friend.
His life was cut short, by an ungrateful so and so.
But hey, there is a reason for everything, and his calling was now.
It was a beautiful event, being a funeral virgin I didnt know what to expect.
Tears fell from my eyes despite how hard I tried to force them backwards.
A mass of people old and young arrived and the church was packed.
The priest of the church was talking about him as though he knew my friend, but in actual fact all he said was opposite.
He wouldnt have liked the hymns, or the long sermon.
He would have LOVED the presence of all who turned up.
I was rather happy that the sun came up over his grave whilst they let the doves loose.
It was beautiful and let my heart be at ease.
I was angry for a long time after his death, but today I let all that anger diminish.
I dont want to talk about it anymore.
I just want to cherish the memories
And for once not for a selfish reason, today was the burial of my late friend.
His life was cut short, by an ungrateful so and so.
But hey, there is a reason for everything, and his calling was now.
It was a beautiful event, being a funeral virgin I didnt know what to expect.
Tears fell from my eyes despite how hard I tried to force them backwards.
A mass of people old and young arrived and the church was packed.
The priest of the church was talking about him as though he knew my friend, but in actual fact all he said was opposite.
He wouldnt have liked the hymns, or the long sermon.
He would have LOVED the presence of all who turned up.
I was rather happy that the sun came up over his grave whilst they let the doves loose.
It was beautiful and let my heart be at ease.
I was angry for a long time after his death, but today I let all that anger diminish.
I dont want to talk about it anymore.
I just want to cherish the memories
Saturday, 2 October 2010
Breaking Down
NOTHING is going right!
Despite how hard I try.
...
BUT I HAVE GOT TO FINISH EVERYTHING I START
Despite how hard I try.
...
BUT I HAVE GOT TO FINISH EVERYTHING I START
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
I try
Honestly, I think I try real hard.
To please others, to do the right thing, to assist even where I am not needed.
Can somebody please tell me why it is that the wicked seem to prosper and the righteous suffer.
In what scripture does that make sense.
My mum always says your heaven starts on earth, so why then does nothing ever come to pass the way I envision it to, or even in a positive way with effects and results that benefit me in a way that I can appreciate.
FUCK, I'm real peeved.
Whats up with this shit.
I always used to say if life throws you shit, dodge it, BUT what if you cant dodge it in time?
Wipe it off you say?
But your going to stink of it.
I must smell like a month old nappy and be suffering from nappy rash right about now, because I'm sour, at the world, at people and ultimately at myself.
Because at the end of the day, the power to influence my life and push things in the right direction lies in my own hands. My choices, My risks...all Mine.
Selfish rant, yeah I know, but sometimes you really have to put yourself first. Not in front of a car btw.
To please others, to do the right thing, to assist even where I am not needed.
Can somebody please tell me why it is that the wicked seem to prosper and the righteous suffer.
In what scripture does that make sense.
My mum always says your heaven starts on earth, so why then does nothing ever come to pass the way I envision it to, or even in a positive way with effects and results that benefit me in a way that I can appreciate.
FUCK, I'm real peeved.
Whats up with this shit.
I always used to say if life throws you shit, dodge it, BUT what if you cant dodge it in time?
Wipe it off you say?
But your going to stink of it.
I must smell like a month old nappy and be suffering from nappy rash right about now, because I'm sour, at the world, at people and ultimately at myself.
Because at the end of the day, the power to influence my life and push things in the right direction lies in my own hands. My choices, My risks...all Mine.
Selfish rant, yeah I know, but sometimes you really have to put yourself first. Not in front of a car btw.
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
Sick and Tired
On so many different levels, I am sick of what the world seems to be throwing me right now.
The same way in which I am avoiding unnecessary lip locking is how I'm ferociously dodging the bullets life shoots at me.
Its crazy because honestly my emotions have the ablility to send me into a rut, which is where if not found I will pass away in.
Recently, I found out my bad grades, lost a friend and have been threatened by both my parents and my teachers. Under pressure to perform, I have realised that I can no longer occupy two jobs and have decided to quit the other.
Im tired of having no social life, I'm tired of feeling as though I am inferior and Im tired of looking rough.
I want to look and feel on top of the world.
You know boost my ego and all that lark.
Ahh well, I'll get back to you on how far I get with this new plan of mine.
The same way in which I am avoiding unnecessary lip locking is how I'm ferociously dodging the bullets life shoots at me.
Its crazy because honestly my emotions have the ablility to send me into a rut, which is where if not found I will pass away in.
Recently, I found out my bad grades, lost a friend and have been threatened by both my parents and my teachers. Under pressure to perform, I have realised that I can no longer occupy two jobs and have decided to quit the other.
Im tired of having no social life, I'm tired of feeling as though I am inferior and Im tired of looking rough.
I want to look and feel on top of the world.
You know boost my ego and all that lark.
Ahh well, I'll get back to you on how far I get with this new plan of mine.
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