What do you do when your best is not enough?

Sometimes I get this feeling that I will never amount to anything or that I don't mean anything to anyone.
A lot of the time I just feel like an extra wing, not needed you can fly with two what's up with the third extra wing, get rid of it.

Ok back to your best not being good enough.

Who gave anyone the right to tell you that you were not GOOD enough?

No one,

Who gave anyone the authority to make you feel lowly... YOU.

You unsubconciously give other people power over you from time to time.
That person who you think can dress, if he/she says your outfit looks bad likelihood is you will feel bad wearing it.

If someone tells you that they can't see themselves with anyone else and a few months later they have someone else on their arm that they are claiming, you allowed them to fool you.

But when do you decide it is SAFE to let someone influence your opinion of yourself?

Never would be an apt answer, unfortunately things do not always work the way you would like for them to.

Sometimes you have to experience things in order to appreciate your self worth, sometimes you cannot even actually appreciate the lesson you are supposedly being taught by life because it simply HURTS too much for experience to legitimise the pain.

What else can you attribute to it though... ?

Loads of rhetorical questions here, I leave them open to your answers...
I'm lying here in bed thinking about 1001 issues, scenarios and ways to resolve them.
But I'm no agony aunt, I just rant.
And rave... Till I'm tired and eventually nod off.

The Climb

Was only during my uphill climb through the streets of Canterbury with the heaviest bags known to man that I truly started to appreciate life for what it is.

Honestly, there have been so many so called 'low points',
I mean when I was at the bottom of the hill with cars going past the speed limit and blowing my hair into a static mess I contemplated giving up.
But I realised it really is not about how fast I make it, it is about the climb, how I get there.

Having Christian influence I am inclined to looking at my life from a different view point, how other people look at me in relation to my 'religion'.

The amount of times I have been near giving up is erm, terrible.

Irrespective of this however each and every time I have done something to pick myself back up and face whatever obstacle is obstructing me from achieving what it is I am after.

I actually finished college this week, three years of crap that was.
I should have done an apprenticeship in all honesty, I am a worker, I work hard.
And right now I am working towards reaching a high position, and making sure I have back up I don't ever want to be pushed of any position in my own hierarchy...

But hey, life is an ongoing learning curve and about the climb.

Miley says it all for me...



No matter what circumstance you find yourself in, remember its just a minuscule part of the major plan. You can overcome it!

Bisous mes amies x

If you couldn't tell by now

I am a big, no huge, no enormous lover of afro beats...

CURRENTLY DYING OVER WIZ KID

Have a feeling I will be bumping into the guy himself sometime soon.

Wiz Party is my jam - have a listen

not so much the lyrical content as much as I love you boo...

the beats are so catchy and make me dance down the road, how can i be bobbing my head in an exam hall singing this to myself...
lol

my sociology teacher is the best

"Do not give up at the 11th hour!"

Thats what she emailed me - honestly don't know where I would be without her.

Turns out I have done this exam before and got a grade I was only aiming to push the grade up.

Ahh well such is life

biggest mistake

i missed my a2 exam

enough said

im a bum

and God knows why that happened and only he will see me out of it..

for now i will weep

with my weak and bogged down body

i hate being ill

GUESS WHAT!

LMFAO - I lost my phone

But I couldn't care less..

Then I thought I would give finding it a go.

So I'm standing in the darkness in a uni kitchen

and I call my phone using someone elses phone

and in the corner of the room

next to somewhere I had been sat

was a mop bucket

for some uncanny reason

the bucket was glowing

low and behold

I found my phone

in the bottom of this murky water

ringing

- Funniest thing that has happened to me this year undoubtedly -

I have a blackberry so being iPhoneless doesn't bother me so much
dont really get many phone calls nowadays anyways
and I cant go over my bill now eh?

I met Naeto C

So it's funny how God works, just as I have been falling deep in love with the guy and his lyrical flow.
I am blessed with his presence someone tell me it happened by coincidence I will tell you otherwise.
I was meant to meet him.
When you are righteous in your doing you will be blessed.
And this photo is evidence of how happy I am and was when I met him.
More blessings to come, watch out world.
I'm ready for you

I'm sorry

Sometimes, without even trying, you can get so caught up in yourself that you forget how you are portraying another person.

Selflessness, something I try to enact, but in the end I just end up thinking about MYSELF and My emotions...

Even if it means painting somebody else in a bad light.

I wont lie, the majority of the time it excuses mistakes made or even assumptions that have been jumped to.

But the end result isn't pretty, the picture is one you wouldn't even really want to look at because from all angles it doesn't look like anything but a mess.

Most of the time, I say sorry and don't mean it.
I say it to solve an issue, or better still kick it under a matt, rather than hitting the nail on the head, I digress.

Oh DAMN..

It is a pity really.

Everybody seems to think they are right.
When in actual fact you ain't ever gonna know what is the right way of doing things if you dont TALK.

Made harder when the other parties involved don't even want to.
Mais, you have to respect peoples opinions.

As I grow older and more knowledgeable in matters of the heart, I realise that the mind and heart go hand in hand.

We try to brainwash ourselves into thinking one thing, but memories (the sweet ones) have us trapped and the heart comes out to play and it weeps when things are no longer the same.

But, such is life.

Honestly - live life and love it.
Sorry to all those I have driven up the wall.
I was selfish.

Vrai

What is true?
What is right?
What is just?
As opposed to what is preferred.

Who knows?

Aid me

Asking for help is probably the hardest thing for some people to do.
When in all honesty sometimes you really do need to ask for it.
Many people like to do things on their own,
A majority have their own way of doing things and as a result hate when other people interfere.
BUT (big butt in mc hammers video type of but)
Some times you have to get rid of your pride and ask for help or for something to be explained.
Sometimes you are too selfish and caught up in what is upsetting you to realise that someone else needs your help but you just don't bother asking.

When you need a hand ask there is no harm in it, and when you see others struggling offer a helping hand.

I'm back

hey flip the switch
turn the lights on
open your eyes to a whole new you
the person you want to be stands before you...
okay maybe not right in front of you, but close enough
really and truthfully if you want to change your outlook on things you have to be in action or at least ready for it at all times
you have to no1# get rid of some pride, grab some shame, be humble and put in the work.

My work rate has been abysmal, in like the bad sense.
I have been doing nada, and today I realised my potential.
I saw my grade for my art work and woo I am so chuffed.
Defo gonna work harder at it till I am satisfied.

Today I went out with the lads... n felt like my normal (Im a girly girl with a mans outlook on life) self.

I wont lie I missed it.
I been so caught up in the womans sad and oppressed by emotions life for too long.
EWW.
YUCK...

Yes I am human, but after watching X-men, I have a boost of energy that cannot be reckoned with honestly.

Dont mess with me... I will be brutal.

No but really, I am crazy happy today.
And ain't no one going to bring me down.
Miss Motivator is Back.